by our signatures below we do hereby certify that the following person has according to the most recent evidence tried one or more of the following dumb ways to die
1. Stick a knife into a toaster, when the toaster is switched on.
2. Swerve in front of a car, on a skateboard.
3. Make a home made bomb, and let it explode in your hand. Kaboom.
4. See how fast a car can go around a corner, before lifting off and hitting a tree.
5. Eat Superglue to see if it does stop you breathing.
6. Cross a train line, with the train coming at you at 160 mph.
7. Jump into an unknown river, head first. Oops, Paraplegic.
8. Drink gasoline, by mistake, then light a cigarette, not by mistake.
9. See how many mates one can fit into a car, then see how fast the car will go.
10. See how close one can get in front of another car, then make a U Turn.
Percentage of Dumb Behavior - Men 10 Women 1
Name of the First Signatory
Signed on DATE_HERE by a semiqualified researcher
Name of the Second Signatory
Signed on DATE_HERE by an unqualified researcher